Contemplative

I was raised with music. My Dad loved music - and there was always something playing in the house, in the car, or a tune being hummed or sung.... when I grew up.

My brothers and I all seem to have a love of music - all different mind you, but a love never the less. Everything from old twangy country, to the more modern.

I often find I identify with a song the most when it speaks to an experience I've had, the way I am feeling, or perhaps a moment in time - either shared with another, or all on my own.

Music can make my heart soar, a tear fall, or make me want to get up and dance. I would say my taste in music is varied, although I do tend to like one extreme or another, either mellow and contemplative, or fast and catchy.

This morning I was listening to a recently aquired cd and found that the lyrics hit a note within me that was both clear, true, and ironic. Driving to work in the dark - with the moon still high in the sky, dressed for a mid-morning meeting (in the ever safe black) the music matched my mood of the moment.

Twenty years it's breaking you down,
now that you understand there's no one around.
Take a breath, just take a seat, you're falling apart and tearing at the seams.

Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

It's on your face, is it on your mind,
would you care to build a house of your own.

How much longer, how long can you wait,
It's like you wanted to go and give yourself away.

Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

It feels good. Is that reason enough for you.
It feels good. Is that reason enough for you.

Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

Out of this one
Don't know how to get you out of this one,
don't know how to get you out of this one,

~The Fray

I choose to be alone - for now. It is a choice that I made. But in the end - I don't worry that I will "end up alone" and for the first time in my life - I am totally comfortable with this choice. It is hard to be alone - make no mistake, but the way I see it - a person has a choice to surround themself with good friends, and family - and to make the most out of their life.

I suspect when I find the inner peace that I seek - many other things will fall into place. I of course have no way to know this for certain.... lol

So - I plan in the days ahead - to do as I have always done - and that is - to listen to the music (perhaps even dance a little if no one is looking).