Thursday, March 16, 2006
Fancy lunches, the Correct Fork, and Broccoli
I had the opportunity to attend a lunch today. My boss knows someone who asked him if he would purchase a table at a lunch put on by the Empire Club. The guest speaker was David Flewelling, President of CAA National. There are days like today, when it feels your life has come around full circle - I used to work for CAA for 10 years - I had the opportunity to see a number of faces of people I had had the opportunity to work with in my past, as well as a number of people I know from my current job.
I'd like to backtrack a little however, my present occupation does not often require formal or professional dress, it is generally business casual (and I think I may err often on the casual side) unless of course we are visiting new clients etc. So this meant I felt an overwhelming desire to look the part - especially knowing I was going to be seeing people from my past life. One always likes to at least give the impression that they are moving forward in their chosen or selected career paths. There was in me a desire to look like I had it together - very much.
Last night I spent the better part of my evening at the local mall. Considering the location I am very surprised they don't offer a better or more varied selection. Everything either appeared too old, unflattering, too young, or far too casual for what I had in mind. After a fairly frustrating and exhaustive search of the mall - I ended up with a new skirt and blouse, and the thing that made me happiest of all - new shoes!!!! I love new shoes - they make me happy!!
So this morning as I prepared for the day - it was with a little more enthusiasm than normal - because I felt I would look the part - and with that came some much desired confidence.
After being at work this morning for a few hours - my boss made a discovery - we had confirmed 11 people but only reserved a table for 10. He was suggesting we were going to have to move someone from the table - and I certainly didn't want to be the one to suggest who should be left out or moved. How unprofessional. I came up with another plan - to call the co-ordinator at the Empire Club and see if we could add an additional person to our table. I was quite pleased in the end to discover that this would be no problem!
Our office staff arrived around 11:30 at the Royal York and my boss went one way and we went the other - he was attending some pre-lunch thing as he had the privelege of being seated at the head table.
Once locating everyone for our table and supplying them with their tickets - we entered the dining room to be seated for lunch. It was a nice venue, and after taking one of the 3 remaining empty seats at our table I was pleased to at least find myself seated next to one of our clients (well more like a potential client) that I knew I would have no trouble conversing with.
There was quite an impressive group at our table, lawyer, head of IT for CAA SCO, one of my old boss's from my days in Public Relations at CAA, a couple of Private Investigators, the British Deputy Consul General, a couple of members of the British Canadian Chamber of Trade and Commerce, including the President etc. So quite a nice group of people.
I found as I often do at these events, a relief at the fact that I have been raised and believe I possess decent table manners, the ability to know which knife and fork are required when, and the ability to eat almost anything that is put in front of me. The lunch was quite nice - salmon (one of my favourites), mashed potatoes and veggies - and whoo-hoo NO PEAS! The guest seated to my left noticed that I didn't eat my broccoli - some people just don't miss anything - but I pointed out that it wasn't because I don't like brocoli - I just didn't want to risk getting green stuff stuck in my teeth! I am not sure what the dessert concoction was - but I didn't eat it.
I find that these events can bring out the best in people, for example - someone asking the wait staff for a cup of tea on my behalf - as I missed the initial offer (was in the ladies room), returning to have my two table companions (located on either side of me) stand to pull out my chair - wow super impressive!!! and to have someone near by offer to help me with my coat. Is it wrong to love that?
The speech started and while I listened to most of it - I found I was much distracted by my own thoughts. I found myself wondering where am I headed, in my life and in my career - how will I make a difference in the grand scheme of things - and the answer is - I have no idea.
I realized by speaking briefly with the people who I have had the fortunate opportunity to work with in the past - that I have left a reasonably good impression, and I conduct myself professionally, but there is always that underlying desire to prove myself to others and to myself that I am capable of overcoming the obstacles in my life and still forge ahead. Well I do that - but what else do I actually do? I'm not too sure.
I know lately I have had a couple of distractions (not bad ones) and realized today that with these distractions I am obsessing less about the problems in my immediate life and focusing outwardly again thinking about my own interests and what makes me tick. It has certainly been a pleasant diversion. It made me wonder if I am missing out on a great many things because I am constantly trying to fix my personal relationships rather than focusing on my life and what I want to get out of it.
That sounds a little selfish - and it isn't meant to. It's just I think perhaps I'd be a far more interesting person if I could actually converse a little about things out there in the world rather than the things in my immediate little "me" world.
As always with these thoughts I could feel the tension creep into my neck and shoulders while I pondered "How am I going to make a difference", what will people remember about me when I am gone. Will it be my failures, will it be my exterior professional best foot forward attitude - which I swear if someone actually dug a little deeper would realize is primarily just on the surface.
To quote a great line from a great Canadian Band - The Tragically Hip - and a song called Wheat Kings
No one's interested in something you didn't do
Anyhow - the speech ended - people clapped and then the room cleared just as quickly and neatly as it was filled and it was back to reality for me. How the hell do I find my way out of the parking garage without letting on that I have absolutely no idea what I am doing - and yet I am the one in the office in charge of getting things done - ironic don't you think?
Monday, March 13, 2006
Pirates of the Caribbean Sky
1st Day of March Break today and my lovely little daughter spent 1/2 the day at the office with me. I have to say she is a very patient young lady, was quiet and rewarded by my boss with a company pen of her very own. Looks like tomorrow may involve more of the same - minus the pen.
But that is not why I write this evening. I was just off to bed, about an hour later than planned and after turning out the lights remembered I needed to close the door to my balcony. It has been a very foggy, damp, and cool evening. I was amazed to discover it had turned into a very clear night. There is what I refer to as a Pirates of the Caribbean Sky.
The sky is the most beautiful shade of deep navy, but as a result of a full moon the dark outline of the branches on the trees outside my window is readily apparent. There are a few clouds in the sky illuminated from behind by the moon. The creek down below which is the colour of chocolate milk due to the rain, shimmers with the reflection of the moon..
The overall quality and effect can only be compared to that moment in the ride at Walt Disney World where you find yourself between the two pirate ships out on the water with the clouds swirling overhead, and the night illuminated by the moon. There is a magical quality to it all. It makes me wish I had a cape and some secret place to sneak out to for some late night adventure.
But I am a Mom, who has a job to go to in the morning, and a daughter to amuse, so alas - the only adventures I will be having this evening will be in my dreams.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Late night Serenade....
In my mind I call her the "oh god girl" and she generally only makes an appearance after midnight on any given day of the week. Before you think I am crazy - she is not a figure of my imagination.
Last night I was woken from a deep sleep - or at least what felt like one around 3am. I laid there for a moment trying to figure out why I was suddenly awake - only to discover repetitive screaming.... aw gawd - not this again!
"oh god, oh god, oh god, OH GOD!!!!!!!!"
Honestly - I am all for people enjoying themselves and I really don't care what hour of night (or day) they choose to do it BUT I don't really view this as a extra-curricular participant sport. In other words - do what you like - just don't make me listen to your theatrics!
She yelled
He yelled
They yelled
and unfortunately - I was the unlucky bugger who - through no desire of my own - had the pleasure of witnessing their "happy moment". And they aren't even in the same building.
Then .... silence.
Only now - I was wide awake. Staring at the ceiling.
You may be asking your self why I was able to hear so much - open window. It is so hot in my apartment that I must sleep with the window open - and I like the fresh air at night. Sure I could have closed the window - but by the point I was awake enough to do this - I was already wide awake - and they were , uh.... finished.
It's times like these when I miss living in a house. No footsteps over head unless they are someone in your own family. No worries about how loud you walk or pull out your kitchen chair in the morning for fear of waking the guy downstairs. No contemplating just how loud you can get away with turning up your music, no worries about your child running out the front door to play in the yard.
Life's stepping stones - they all have a purpose, but it isn't always evident to us.
As far as the "oh god girl" well, congrats.... I can't begrudge you your moment of glory - that would just be... well, it wouldn't be me.
(funny in my new neighbourhood, the night is peaceful and silent, there is no oh-god girl in this neighbourhood.... yet!)
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