And another - oldie but goodie....

Saturday, November 12, 2005
Raising an Eight Year Old Daughter

In an effort to maintain my sanity.... I have decided to blog my adventure's as a single parent.

I have a daughter. My daughter is eight. She is smart and funny and has a warm heart. She loves to sing and draw and a tazmanian-like whirl follow's in her wake. (Her bedroom is a prime example) She is the biggest joy of my life and I love her to death!

However.... she is currently possessed by a hormonal, teenage version of her future self, complete with attitude and a stubborn streak that outlasts my own.

We have been through many changes together in her very short life, which have involved several relocations. For a child this is a very distressing adventure. New homes, new schools, new friends, new anxieties. So a Mom can't really blame her child for experiencing adjustment issues right?

My daughter and I have both been experiencing some serious adjustment issues. I know as a parent consistency is key.... and I am consistent. She started a new school in the fall and seemed to make the adjustment well. She loves her teacher, has made some friends and has the luxury of a very small class. Sounds great right? Well - this year brought with it a fairly consistent homework load and an emphasis on math. MATH!

My daughter loathes math, and will find any way to avoid doing math homework that is humanly possible - short of the old standby - "the dog ate my homework" but that is only because we don't have a dog.... or any pets for that matter. The homework consistently gets left at school or if it makes it's way home.... the actual homework assigned is erased from the agenda - leaving me to ponder... "what exactly are you supposed to do for your homework?"

Ah and then the fun begins. I don't want to do homework, I don't feel like doing homework, I don't have to do homework, I did my homework at school, I don't understand my homework, I can't do my homework, I lost my pencil, I forgot my workbook, I don't have an eraser etc. If we ever get as far as starting the homework.... well then it goes something like this.... I don't get it, the teacher never explained it, the teacher spent the whole class explaining it and I don't understand it, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I have to go to the bathroom, I want to do my homework after supper, You just don't understand what it's like (Sound familiar Mom?) , blah, blah, blah

It's as if overnight I have turned from the "Best Mom in the Whole World" to the Mom from hell, who doesn't understand what it's like to be eight... The yelling, the tears, the slamming doors, the mouth, the rudeness and the lying, etc.... I am at my wits end!

So after many a sleepless night, and a few tearfull phone calls to my own parents (who while sympathetic, recall all too well what I was like as a child, I swear I can hear them chuckle under their breath sometimes), I decided that perhaps there were a few deeper issues that maybe contributing to the behavioural changes.... that my daughter was feeling unable to express - either because she is eight or because, she has learned from a young age to guard her feelings carefully.

Off to the Family and youth Counsellor we go.... the first couple of sessions went great, she listened she talked, she had some one on one time.... all good. So after the end of the second session my daughter says to me - Mom, I asked the counsellor if I could talk to him about problems other than my schoolwork... and he said yes, so I did and we had a really good talk and he even gave me some very helpful suggestions. I am feeling pretty pumped like perhaps we are scratching the surface, perhaps we are getting somewhere... so I ask "Well, do you want to share what you talked about?", and she says "My teeth! I told him I don't like my teeth and he said I should talk to my Dentist"..... well so much for scratching the surface.....

Until next time.
Mom