My baby turned double digits!!!!

Wow

When did that happen - I recall celebrating "3" like it was yesterday - but where do the years go?

My daughter and I ventured into Toronto to her first big theatre production - which ironically - was also my first big theatre production for my 18th b-day. It was also her first experience with homeless people sleeping on the sidewalk(which greatly unsettled her).

Her Dad and I gave her tickets to see Phantom of the Opera for her b-day and I was so excited to share this experience with her. She has been to many smaller theatre plays, and productions - but nothing on this scale.

The lights went down, the curtain went up and the magic unfolded before our eyes. Every moment was exactly as I remembered.... only better, because I had someone I was so excited to share it with. The costumes, the singing, the effects.... simply amazing.

It's was a little like life. There are so many difficult moments, but every once in a while you hit a gem and it just makes everything else stop, and you sit up and drink it all in.

10 years ago I had no idea where my life was going to lead me. I was sitting in a hospital room full of pride for managing to deliver my baby, who has become such a delight. I had no idea that I would spend so much time raising her on my own, or that my life would have as much struggle as it has had.

She is the music, she is the special effect, she is the voice that sings the songs that make my feet hit the floor in the morning wondering what is in store for me in the day ahead. She is the reason I keep putting one foot in front of the other, and also why I remind myself that I must stop and "smell the roses" because they grow and change all too fast.

Yesterday she was three, today she is 10 and tomorrow she will be 16. I need for things to just slow down, so I can hold her hand and enjoy the moments. She is somewhere between a child and a young lady. She talks of the tooth fairy one moment and in the next breath informs me that she knows what "S-E-X" is. She is my daughter, and sometimes she is my friend. She is that soft voice that says "Is everything alright Mom, you look like you are thinking really hard". She is the voice that commands action "What's for dinner", "What are we doing today", "When can we go...". She creates, and loves, and is a huge whirlwind of mess. She is half-eaten lunches, tears over math homework, hamster that sometimes forgets to be fed, stuck up in the tree afraid to come down, smiles and laughter.

She is a part of me. But more than that - she is the reason that I have become the woman I am today. She is the reason I can never give up, never stop pushing myself, never stop trying to be the right and good example, the reason I want to show her that it's important to give respect to those around you - but also demand it in return.

She is the hand in mine on the walks in park. She is my measuring stick.

I know that one day - she will grow up, and move on to learn her own lessons, and make her own mistakes - I can only hope that when that time comes - I will have figured out mine. I hope that I will succeed in raising her to be independent, self-motivated, and her own brand of successful. I hope that she finds her own happiness, and doesn't settle too long in her own dissappointments. I hope that she doesn't fear the unknown in life's friendships and relationships, and that perhaps she even has a child of her own one day that challenges her to be the best version of her that she can be.

For today - she is 10. I still have time. Time to learn, time to teach, time to grow.